It was not about leaving, it was about a passage to another place and yet I was leaving. I had been living in Las Vegas since 1991 and now 13 years had passed. The cleaning out of the house became a monumental effort of getting rid of stuff (from clothing to books to furniture to accumulations of whatever had been gifted). I recall spending most of two months starting in April and daily clearing out a space, a shelf, a drawer, a surface, a memory and many memories, and clearing out myself from heart to soul through psyche.
I literally gave away or gifted or donated a wardrobe of clothing that dated back to a time living in NYC from the 1970s. I packed boxes of just neckties, of shoes I never wore again, of art papers, and of sins with the blessings of the saints. I found many things that had been stored and forgotten in one of the four bedrooms. All was meticulously arranged along a wall in the double door entrance. I had arranged to spend my last night in the home of a friend after the movers came and emptied out the house and the last day I bid the house a loving good bye by burning incense and pissing one more time in the back yard. The 1993 Black Jaguar was sent off to Illinois in a moving truck and the 2000 Green Jaguar packed “to the full” hit the road and drove into the desert through the mountains across the plains and arrived in the cornfields. What had I done? Where was this new adventure to go with my hopes and fears?
Arriving in Bloomington, Illinois, early morning after a one night stop along the road – Life repeated itself in an omen and a warning and I found a place not ready to allow me to settle. In Las Vegas in 1991, Mrs. McNair was not moved out and arranged for me to stay in an apartment for which she paid until over two months had passed and her transition to her new home was made. I started a new academic position in a new city living out of temporary housing and not unpacked and not settled.
Arriving in Las Vegas with a moving van scheduled the same day, I was greeted by Mrs. McNair and told I could place as much as possible in one emptied bedroom and store the rest on the porch and that she had arranged an apartment for me across the street from my new office. I had had an anterior cruciate ligament and meniscus operation and was in a brace and would undergo three more years of rehabilitation therapy with Jack Close in Las Vegas. This apartment was on a second stair up level and 4 blocks from my new office. I faced the challenge. This was at the start of July and I did not get to move into my home at 412 Park Way East until the middle of September. The dates in Illinois were the same to the date of moving into 1030 East Monroe Drive.
The apartment in Bloomington was owned by the man from whom I had purchased my home and it was half underground where car lights directly came into the bedroom windows. My neighbors were aggressive with their use of garlic and curry and all permeated the building and skin and clothing. Again a new city, a new academic position, continued therapy for my spine that had acted up moving from Las Vegas, and a place where I was unable to settle. I lived out of my suitcases for over 2 and a half months in each city, and I was moving into my new homes on my birthday, September 21st. Thirteen years apart life patterns repeated. Las Vegas equaled Lost Wages. Bloomington – Normal was Bloomless – Abnormal.
Entry – October 25, 2018
